The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize