who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
