We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
