when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
