So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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