I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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