Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
