that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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