Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
