He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
