What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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