It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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