distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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