I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
