He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize