I looked at my own cervix.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
