i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Randomize