Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
