brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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