Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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