You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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