Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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