take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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