theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
