And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
