this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So much Jack, so little girl.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
