Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
