he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
