i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
