I just made out with a guy for $7.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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