Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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