I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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