He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She's the barista slut.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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