thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
