i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize