I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
