This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
That reminds me...we need to get swords
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
