I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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