yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
