Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
