What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
