i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
