My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize