he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize