Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
