Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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