There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
