There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
