I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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