Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
