I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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