she looked like the bat from fern gully.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
