I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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