Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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