careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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