Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize