Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
