she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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