What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
