No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
