Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
