you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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