If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize