i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
