this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
