I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
